Above : The junction Where I thought i was a green cross code man in Bristol
I thought it might be interesting for some people to read about my latest bi polar episode which has just happened to me.
I had been sleeping in Malaga airport for two weeks as the weather was too bad in the mountains for me to spend any time there . In the day time i tend to get the train from the airport to the beach at one of the nerby resorts and use the librarys there and cafes tapas bars etc. Then i come back to the airport at night .
Anyway It was 21 December 2019, 2 days before i was due to fly back to Uk and without realising it i started to get delusional in several ways ....
- I started to believe i was the Head security guard / bouncer at Malaga Airport and based at the arrivals part of terminal 2 ( the security guards know i have bi polar so probably just ignored it as iv been staying there on and off 9 years )
- I at one point thought that the airport had become a museum for various famous scenes in history including the nativity and we were the living actors.
-I thought i heard one lady say that i was rubbish as an actor for nativity and it was sick but i think i was hearing things or just dreaming ( i was sitting in a quiet part of arrivals terminal 3 )
- I believed that I was disguised as an angel at my church christmas party in benalmadena as there were terrorists about to blow us up but seeing me there as an angel ( in my bright orange top) put them off .
To be honest i think one of the reasons i got so delusional was that I wasnt getting enough sleep as i remember needing to go to sleep for twenty minutes at the christmas party while everyone started eating . I lay down o the sofa in the corner.
Some of the experiences i think i was actually DREAMING eg . the night before my flight i remember sitting at arrivals with Mark a man staying there and playing russian roulette with a plastic gun to each others head . This must have been dreaming as also i saw Emma, a girl i know from cornwall, pushing a pram . I ordered her to show what was in the pram and inside was a plastic alien which she was pretending to be her baby!!! Being the head doorman and head of security i was in charge of deciding who to let on and off the planes . And pointing to people which direction i wanted them take , deciding whether i wanted them to fly or stay.
Anyway like iv said i think this part of the episode was a dream.
I also remember having to stand at the arrivals door pretending to be a gay security guard with the other spanish security guards also acting gay and dressed in womans clothes ha ha quite funny . This was to demonstrate equal gay rights .
Anyway i awoke on the morning of my flight by Renee a friend at airport texting me . I looked at the time and rushed to get all my stuff together . I lent my bank card to Renee to get a drink but i didn't have time to go and get it as I woud miss my plane so i managed to get on the plane with no mishaps though it took ages to get to the right gate. I actually thought i was on big brother at this point for some reason and if i took the wrong turning I woud be confronted by a crowd of cheering people that i made it out of the big brother airport.
Anyway on the plane i noticed a stuning orange sunrise and quite stormy i think it seemed to take an age to take off maybe due to my racing mind or due to bad weather.
During the flight we seemed to be going up in to space as the clouds were very far below . Maybe this was atmospheric conditions keeping the clouds low . Got glimpses of land every now and then.
I started imagining that i was causing the continents to split apart and other strange thoughts as i obsered the clouds partin in places.
Anyway when I arrived in Bristol I managed to get through the passport control quicker than most people as I'm an old hand at it .
I remembered that I had no bank card and no cash and no phone credit so the first thing i did was head to Starbucks and drink a leftover coffee on the table.
I then tried to board a couple of buses using my stagecoach smart card to no avail !
So my next idea was to walk over to the nearby quarry and explore it ... ive seen it on the map but not been there yet . Its close to the airport.
Above: The route i took walking from Brsitol airport to Bristol City Centre
23 Dec 2019
I walked to the road that leads to the quarry but by then was enjoying walking so much i decided to carry on all the way to Bristol maybe 12 miles away. On the way I foraged browsed on bramble leaves nettle leaves still about even in December and hawthorn berries. I also tried the tips of hazel catkins which tasted fine.
I came to a small wood which i explored a little bit. I carried on along the road till i came to a fast food burger van where i took some bread out of the bin. I walked on past the reservoirs , as i walked along i was directing traffic telling it to slow down and pointing to people who had lights on unnecessarily it was daylight.
I remember coming to a stream at the bottom of the hill after the reservoirs i think but before the lime kiln roundabaout . At the stream a light aircraft flew overhead . I thought it was observing me , but probably not.
Anyway after what seemed not such a long time I arrived in Bristol. I stopped at some kind of museum for cartoons and wa s going to lie down in the carpark as i was feeling tired .
It seemed everyone recognised me as if I had just been on big brother. Istn that Zedela Montana they seemed to be saying.
I then saw an enormous Anchor in the middle of the park and made me think of Mark Ankers a boy i was friends with when i was about 9 or 10 years old.. I tied a black bit of string to the anchor as a Mark as i remember pushing him in the swimming pool as a child causing him to have a fear of water.
I felt like i was being directed to jump into the canal here but thought much better of it and just dipped my feet in !!! Reading this I'm very glad i didn't jump in as would have been very cold.
I then boarded a boat with the owners permission think it was a taxi boat , then got off the boat and found under the boardwalk a mountain bicycle. I thought it was left specially for homeless people so i cycled all the way into the town centre near the bus station . I think i tried to board a bus at one point and also did the green cross code helping people cross a juction .
I might have actually boarded the bus i dont remember but anyway i eventually found myself at bristol bus station. Here memories of watching Jungle Book with Uncle Tyrell came flooding back .
( I watched this when i was five or six either in Cardiff or bristol ... probably Cardiff) . Back then I cried because there were no dinosaurs .
I found a tent by Bristol bus station with an orange outside which i left alone. I was going to get inside the tent but thankfully didnt .
I went inside the bus station and had a tinkle on the piano cant remember all of what i played but it included some long gentle note into a tune that I made up as I went along.
I also stood with two bus drivers and joined in conversation I dread to think what i was saying I was acting like.
I also stood over the ground lights that shine up from pavement not sure what that was about but related to when i stared into my teddy bears eye as a child, like crystal ball gazing.
Anyway I first got the Polices attention by going into Greggs Bakery next to the Bus Station . I asked the girl if i could have a cookie as i was homeless and hungry . I reached over to grab a biscuit . There was other men in there but she was concerned so phoned the Police, The police HQ is literally round the corner from the bus station . I dont think anything happened except they asked if I was alright.
Anyway i then wandred around the roads around Bristol Bus station , looking into restaurant windows etc. But not really causing any trouble.
Then I settled in the doorway of a terraced house with a black and white tile mosaic on floor. Across the road was a house resembling Amityville in the horror story. I started making transformers and space invaders from the shape of the house . In the top wiondow a light was on and looked like a computer screen sillouetted. I stared up . Every now and then i saw a persons sillouette get up and look out of window.
I started imagining this person was either Ron or Kayleigh ( Two people i know .. Kayleigh iv known for years ). I started imagining that Kayleigh had a baby and wanted me to see it . So I climbed up the outdoor stairs up to the house and apparently banged on the door.
I now know from what the doctor at Longreach says that this is when the Police re - apprehended me and took me to hospital then Bristol place of safety . Althoiugh that bit is bit vague the police getting me .. i think it was further along the road i got in police car, not handcuffed . I must have been very tired too by now. I remember going to hospital and getting blood test and asked questions.
Next from here i was taken in the Police car to a lock in "Place of Safety" at Mason Ward, Southmead Hospital Bristol. I'm not sure what time of night it was by now or morning . The place was very high security with i remember nice but tough girls, nurses i guess, running the place , I especially remember Laura she had a familiar looking face and pretty .
Above Mason Ward " Place of Safety" Southmead Hospital .
Above: Mason Ward in relation to the main building
of Southmead Hospital , Bristol.
There was some other distressed people in the building including a Asian lad
who kept kicking at the door from the other side , I think he looked very scared.
My imagination started running wild . The nurses gave me a vape to smoke and I started thinking they were charging me up with static so I would run the electrics of the building and even the city from my body matrix style . The building was kind of pyramid shaped and thus i thought i was like a human generator. This thought pattern continued even to the next day on my ambulance drive back to Cornwall.
As dawn came on the Mason ward I saw a lot of seagulls and crows accumulate in the trees and air behind the back garde. I started imagining that sometimes the parients wer fed to these birds and was glad i had telephoned my parents from the ward the previous night. I didn't like it that i was locked up and noone knew where i was . It seemed like they were keeping the phone from me but this was my paranoia.
I lost track of time a bit I'm not sure how long I was in the place of safely but I remember waiting for dawn ... It seemed to take ages . by now i seemed to have most of the facility to myself with all the nurses about 8 of them stuck in a little office I seemed to have more freedom than them!
As it finally started getting light I was disturbed to see lots of crows and seagulls accumulating in the trees behind the facility garden. I started getting deluded paranoid thoughts again and thought that any bad patients eg murderers could be chopped up and fed to the crows without anyone knowing. I was glad I had contacted my parents to let then know where I was.
Every now and then I asked the nurses who were nice if I could go in the garden for fresh air and to Vale. There was no sign of blood or bits of body so i probably decided the Crow feeding thing was in my imagination.
No comments:
Post a Comment