My Testimony .

Hi, my name is Will Rowland. 

I was born in Shrewsbury UK , my Dad worked in banking and later computers and as a result of his work I moved to various different towns in the UK as a child. We moved from Shrewsbury to Stockport , then to Cardiff then Wrexham then Woking all before the age of 11.

Apart from having to move so much and make new friends each time, my childhood was good , my favourite thing to do was fishing with my friends, I also loved nature and gardening and played various musical instruments, I wasn't very good at team sports such as football and Rugby , though I did better in archery and fencing .

I didn't really like school that much, I often struggled with peer pressure and later I was very anxious doing my O levels. 

An organisation called the Gideons Bible Society came to our school , did a talk in the assembly about Christianity and they gave us all free New-Testament Bibles. This always stuck in my head in a positive way that someone took the trouble to come to our school to talk about God and give us a free gift.

In the final year at school the time came for me to start revising for my O level exams. This caused me great anxiety and I felt greatly under pressure. 

Then for some reason I got out my new testament.. the one the Gideon's gave us. At the front section of their Bible is a section that tells you where to find help in different life situations. 

It gave me a scripture for when I'm worried and anxious ... Matthew 6:25-27 Jesus said  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? " 

 This advice really helped me, I decided to not worry and trust God . I became much  less stressed in my O level exams and got quite good results . I believe I was able to concentrate and revise more easily now that I was less anxious.

 Then at college, age 17, I started finding life really difficult, I started greatly fearing the future, what adult life held in store for me. I didn't have much self-confidence , I didn't feel that I had what it takes to make it in the adult world. 

I was doing A-levels at the time and was struggling with them.  I ended up having a nervous breakdown and very bad depression, one evening I was so depressed and fearful I even attempted suicide. I got a  bicycle chain and tried to strangle myself with it. I fainted and let go of the chain ... thankfully the attempt had failed , it was a wakeup call just how easy it was to die.

However, I eventually remembered the advice from the Bible in  Matthew 6:25-27 which had helped in my O-levels and I put the advice into practise again. 

Although I had to go back a year and restart my second year due to the nervous breakdown , I ended up doing quite well in A-levels getting B for biology, B for geology and C for geography. 

My previous biology teacher was astounded that I had got a B as I hadn't done very well in his lessons. I thank God again for easing my anxiety through Matthew 6:25-27 .

At college I had a best friend called Paul Slack who seemed on my wavelength and was understanding and kind. He was also quite a cool dude. In his bedroom he had a poster , it was a game of football being played and below it was a scripture . 

This surprised me and I realised Paul was a Christian.  This was the first friend I ever had who was a believer , I believe this had some influence on me in eventually becoming a Christian. Later we travelled to Africa together and are still friends though I don't see him much due to distance. 

Age twenty , between College and University I went to America with an organisation for students called "Camp America". I worked at a Summer Camp for teenagers in West Virginia.

Interestingly it was actually a Jewish Summer Camp . I found it difficult to fit in with the Americans my age , again I felt peer pressure and had low self-esteem whereas these Americans seemed very self-confident. 

It was at this time I started wanting to really seek the meaning of life , why did life seem such a struggle and why did life seem meaningless, what was the actual purpose of living? It seemed you're born, you struggle for maybe 70 years, then you die?

I was doing kitchen work at the summer camp in the mountains, on one of my days off  I was getting a fishing rod from the store cupboard when I noticed on a shelf a whole Bible containing the Old and New Testament. 

I'm still to this day not sure what a Bible with a New Testament was doing in a Jewish Summer camp store cupboard as most Jews don't believe or read the New Testament! I took it back to my dormitory and started to read it , as perhaps I felt in my heart that this had the answers to all my questions and perplexity about the meaning of life.

I started reading one of the gospels in the new testament .. possibly the book of Matthew which talks all about Jesus' life and ministry.

I read of how Jesus was born from the virgin Mary, I read about some of the amazing miracles he performed , how he went round healing people of illnesses and those that were demon possessed. 

The blind regained their sight , the deaf could hear. Dead people were raised back to life. I read how one of the disciples got a revelation from God of who Jesus was ... he was the Son of God , the Messiah, God incarnate (which means God in flesh).

 I read how Jesus even had authority over nature when he commanded the storm to cease and the waves to die down whilst on a boat with his disciples .

Then Jesus started forewarning his twelve disciples that he was going to be put to death by sinful men , and on the third day rise.  

Then I read about his betrayal and how he was handed over to the authorities to be put to death , because he claimed to be God, this was seen as blasphemy to the Jewish leaders. 

As I read about his cruel crucifixion I started to weep , somehow I knew that this was true and that Jesus was innocent but he had gone through all this excruciating pain for me because He loves me and was paying the price for my sins. I believe the Holy Spirit was revealing to me the truth of the Gospel as I was reading it.

Just before He died, Jesus said this prayer , "Father forgive them , they know not what they do ".  

I felt very convicted by the Holy Spirit , If Jesus loved me so much that he died on a cross,  what does he want from me ?

I saw a scripture  Revelation 3:20 " Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me." 

I understood what this meant , Jesus wanted me to ask Him to come into my life . So in my dormitory at the Summer camp in West Virginia, on August 1st 1990, I said a prayer " Dear Lord Jesus come into my life and be Lord of my life". It was very scary asking Jesus into my life as I was handing control over to Him, I was used to myself having control over my life. 

That night I had a wonderful peaceful dream . I was in a glorious, very bright, very peaceful place and there was a baby sitting under a tree . I went over and kissed the baby. 

I woke up the next morning feeling very different to how I had ever felt before in my life. Very cheerful and peaceful. Everything was brighter. I thought about the dream over the following days and weeks and wondered what it meant. 

I read what Jesus said in John 3:3 "you must be born again" and I came to the conclusion that the baby under the tree was the new me, born again after I asked Jesus into my life, and that the tree represented God, over me and protecting me and covering my sin.    

Soon it was time for me to return back to the UK from America and start University at Reading. My lifestyle changed , before I asked Jesus in my life I was going nightclubbing, drinking lots, chasing girls (mainly unsuccessfully!). 

I also had occasionally partook in cannabis, and crack cocaine ... Those two drugs might be a contributing factor to the bipolar episodes I have had throughout my life. 

I had planned to continue this hedonist lifestyle once I got to university but since my conversion in the USA my ambitions had changed.  I started going to Church and joined the students Christian Union at University which met once a week in a hall, we also had a small Christian union group in my halls of residence which met up regularly.

The next big experience happened a few months later when a brother in Christ called David Barrat invited me to a meal and talk for Christian businessmen , the organisation was called FGBMFI.

At the end of the talk the speaker invited people up to be prayed for to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit .

I went up to the front with some other people . I didn't know what to expect. When the speaker layed hands on my head I felt a warm , powerful yet gentle feeling travelling from the top of my head right down through my body to my feet .

It was an amazing powerful feeling, I had been baptised in the Holy Spirit as Jesus promised in the Bible. I also received the gift of praying in tongues around the same time - a heavenly prayer language which you can talk to God  with.  This often accompanies being baptised in the Holy Spirit.

Also in 1996 in Reading while I was still at university I got baptised in water as Jesus instructs us to when we become believers. 

It's been approximately thirty-two years since I asked Jesus into my life (date today 11 September 2023) and I've had many ups and downs but I'm still here and I can testify that God is real , he is wonderful and is a great source of comfort during the trials of life. Only Jesus satisfies, knowing his unconditional love. Nothing else satisfies in the long term . 

Being a Christian isn't always a bed of roses. 

I've had several times since asking Jesus to be Lord of my life where I "backslided" . I gradually found I was living for myself more than living for God. I have travelled a lot, and accumulated possessions, but although I am grateful for the experiences I found that these things by themselves don't satisfy in the way Gods love satisfies.

 I've also had episodes of severe depression and elation. Perhaps a continuation of the severe depression I had in my teens before I was a Christian and a result of using narcotics.

 In 1994 I was diagnosed with bipolar, I started having terrible Psychosis. These were terrible times. The first time I genuinely thought God had left me due to my accumulated sins . I didn't know the scripture that says He will never leave you or forsake you ( Hebrews 13:5) Once I was shown this scripture by Roger Derbridge, my vicar at the time, I gradually felt better, though it took a long time. I will always be grateful to Roger for the considerable time he took helping me and ministering to me.

All this depression is because we have an enemy the devil who constantly whispers negative thoughts into our mind , and he hates Christians, he doesn't want us to succeed whereas our Father God very much wants us to succeed . One of the things we must learn as a Christian is to recognise Satans lies, this is best done by knowing Gods Word and his wonderful promises to  us. God's promises bring inner peace and  a feeling of security , unlike Satan's lies which produce fear within us. 

Another thing is that I was very obsessed with for many years was getting a girlfriend or a wife . I was married to a Christian lady for three years but it didn't work out, we didn't have much in common and I kept meeting other girls at work who I got infatuations with and my wife (ex) ended the marriage. 

After the divorce I again was obsessively  looking for girlfriends for a long time. I had really backslidden I was going nightclubbing by myself, getting drunk etc. even though I was a Christian. Basically I was on the rebound from my wife leaving, trying to meet girls, occasionally succeeding. I felt that I would feel valued, happy and content if I had a relationship. But I've gradually learnt in my walk with God that God already values me , I'm already valued and loved I don't need a girlfriend or wife to make me feel valued, and I've gradually been delivered of these obsessions , though I'm still believing for a Godly Spanish wife, one that I have lots in common with, unlike my previous wife.     

After the Pandemic in 2020 I fell into another deep depression . I had been traumatised as I was trapped up in the Spanish Mountains during lockdown it was quite scary. There were lots of conspiracy theories going round which didn't help.  I had no transport to get to shops which were 12 km away. Before the lockdown I was relying on a bus service that ceased to operate. However during this difficult time God provided all my needs, food and accommodation . COVID was a difficult and lonely time for many people.

I also hit the age of fifty at the time and realised I was getting old, I didn't feel I had accomplished much in life or been the success I was hoping to be. All my travelling I had been doing seemed meaningless and aimless. I had had a gardening business but that was only partly successful. 

Then to make matters worse my landlord wanted to sell up and I was made homeless. Due to the bipolar disability I was housed in emergency accomodation , a hotel  . So many bad things happened to me all at once ( as is often the way) . 

I was fighting depression for nearly three years with little motivation to do anything , lying down in bed a lot in the hotel room . I also felt very lonely, even though all that time God was with me I didn't feel it.

Then after two and a half years of depression- all day- every day- I broke through the evil spirit of depression by deciding to meditate on Gods unconditional  love for me . Over and over I repeated in my mind "God loves me" and repeated verses in the Bible about Gods love. 

As I lay in the hotel bed meditating on God's love I started feeling a warm mushy "love feeling" inside me which filled my whole being , I believe the meditation was possibly creating Oxytocin, the love hormone, inside my body by meditating on His love. It says in the Bible that Perfect love casts out all fear. 

As I felt the depression leaving and being filled with love I got the motivation to get out of bed and go for a long walk from the hotel to the beach about two and a half miles away. This was a turnaround point for me . It was the first decent bit of exercise I had done for months , it was a lovely sunny spring  day too . The exercise also created other hormones such as serotonin and endorphins. 

Things turned around for the good for me, as is promised in the Bible. I got a flat in a different, nicer part of Cornwall near Penzance and near a lovely beach. I also found an excellent church called Shekinah, very Spirit-filled where I feel Gods presence regularly. I also started attending weekly  meetings in nearby Hayle, run by Light and Life church. At last I was getting lots of fellowship and no longer felt lonely. These things wouldn't have happened had I not been made homeless for a while. It was God's way of getting me to a better place. 

One of the things I had been struggling with for the last few years was finding something constructive to do as I have been signed off work and getting sickness benefit for some time due to Bipolar. At first I enjoyed being signed off, I went fishing, travelling and wild camping in the forests and mountains of Spain , but gradually it started to feel very unproductive and empty. These things became boring.  

I then realised that God had already given me something constructive and productive to do and that is in Matthew 16:15 Jesus said GO into all the world and share the good news of Jesus. So I have been doing that when I'm travelling and when at home . Giving out leaflets and scriptures, doing street preaching in Cornwall with other brothers and sisters. 

I even walk around various places in Spain with a big sign saying "Believe in Jesus, Jesus loves you" . I have a YouTube channel which has fishing, gardening and travelling videos etc. to attract a greater range of subscribers , but also has some testimony videos . Finally I have this Blog which I am currently adapting to include testimonies and teaching in my articles... even if the main subject might be a fishing session or a visit to a new town I plan to include a short Christian based section in each article. 

As well as tithing to my church I also support financially several organisations, my favourite one being Christ for all Nations (CFaN) . CFaN reaches millions of people with the good news of Jesus especially in Africa, but other countries too. Their crusades are accompanied by miraculous healings and deliverance as Jesus promised in his word. It gives me a sense of achievement that I am helping spread the gospel though giving to these organisations.